I feel that my son marches to a beat of this own drum. Don't we all. I had a meeting with his teacher this week. The reason for the meeting was because he was having trouble interacting with kids in class. After the meeting with his teacher and the school psychologist it was decided that in addition to his speech and occupational therapy he should now also attend a social interaction group. To work on his social skills.

I feel a few ways about this. First of all, I am glad that he is in a school system that is on top of things. That really pays attention to its students. I feel very lucky that my son is getting this kind of attention. Especially knowing that there are so many children who get pushed through and don't get the help they need to succeed. I really wish every child had this much attention.

Second though, I wonder is all this really necessary? I get the speech and occupational therapy I do. But social awkwardness? He inherited that from his parents. No joke. Personally, I think he does just fine. But I only see him with other kids at the park. I don't see him all day, for five days with the same group of kids, so what do I know, I am just the mom. I agreed to having a social interaction group, I mean hey what can it hurt. Apparently he even has a friend that goes to this group. I want him to be healthy, happy and to succeed in life and I want him to have the tools to do that. If this is what needs to be done then great. However, they did all this testing last December. Cody had just turned four. Just entered Pre-K (after being on a hiatus for two years from any kind of formal day care). So I am not sure how accurate these test were. I know, I know it sounds like a bias mom, making up excuses for her son. Honestly though, anyone who knows Cody would agree. I want them to re-test. I want them to re-test by December, and I guarantee those scores would be much better. This is where I get annoyed. Again, I am find with all these extra special classes...but I hate the PDD-NOS label. (which they are still branding him with). Its fine if he has it...but to use that test from a year ago...i don't know...doesn't seem like they are getting all the information. And fine. If my son has PDD-NOS and I have to make certain allowances in daily life to accommodate it, fine I will. Why? Because to me its not my son who has PDD-NOS or social awkwardness or speech issues or occupational problems...its CODY. My squash. Who I love more then anything. He is unique. I celebrate his uniqueness, I embrace it and I will work with it. Not try to conform him into what is suppose to be 'normal'. I know that isn't what the school is trying to do...I guess I am just tired of the labels. Tired of them trying to fit kids into these little boxes. Sometimes, you don't have a square kid. Sometimes you have a triangle. And really, triangles are more fun.

Pom Pom Jars

I'm not above bribing my five year old with pom poms. In fact, I think its the smartest thing we have done. We use them to enforce good behavior and punish bad. We have offenses that warrant pom poms being taken away, and usually there are warnings (with time outs) before it gets to that point.
For the most part, its just pom poms in. He is usually guaranteed three, and even so it takes about month to fill his jar.
When he fills it he gets to pick out a toy. We debated...money, toy, in the end he still doesn't seem to get the concept of money to buy things so we went with just getting him a toy. Within reason. We keep it under $25.00.

This month, he wanted a Violin. So for the second time, first time in his memory, we are off to Toys R Us.
Most people would scream, cry, get a root canal before taking a five year old to a toy store. But, my kid is actually pretty good in stores. I mean, yes he can be a pain, but not the all out freak show you see with some kids. For which I am thankful. Still...I was a tad apprehensive when I told him we were going to a Toy Store.
"It just sells toys?" He said with wide eyes
"Yep just a toy store and your going to be good right?"
"You mean it just sells toys? No toilet paper? Or food? Or anything?"
"Yep just toys."
"That. Is. The most amazing thing." Big huge bug eyes with sparkles in them. Well worth any anxiety I had about bring him.

We pull into the parking lot and he is all but bouncing in anticipation. We walking in and you can almost hear hallelujah from his smile.

Again, well worth any trouble this might cause. Because of his reaction I willing to spend a tad more on his toy. He doesn't know where to look first so we end up casing the place three or four times. He spends  good amount of time by the trains, then by the musical instruments (sadly no Violin's). We keep circling back to the cars, so I am thinking he is going to go with a new car. When we find the coolest toy (at least I thought for a kid who likes Cars and likes Remote Control ones to boot). A Mater RC car! I know coolest thing ever.

Price check showed just over 27. Perfect. "So you want to get this?" "hmm...maybe...lets see what else there is." Okay. We go around a few more times. Back to the cars...
But now...see now he has spotted something so cool, so amazing that it puts all other toys to shame. He is so excited...he is almost beyond words.
"Mommy...can I get this?"
"Really Cody? And entire toy store and this is what you find and want."
"Its the best thing ever and I have never had one."
"But...but its not a toy...you can't play with it."
"I know but I want it."
"Well what about Mater?"
"He's okay but I want this." Nothing I said could convince him otherwise. He wanted it. It was what he wanted to trade his pom poms for. A price check showed a whopping 10 bucks. I was getting out of this cheep. The whole way to the register I ask him if he is sure. He never wavers, through the rest of the store (because of course the cars are in the back of the store). He was determined. We paid, left the store, and it has hardly been out of his hands since.

Its always amazing to me what will please a child the most. For his birthday, balloons were the big hit over everything. For Christmas last year I think it was the trampoline.

What ever it is that makes them happy is worth it though. Whether its a toy or time. And of course usually, time makes up for every single toy in the world. Because, maybe its just me, but the time we spent looking together, driving to the store, and just hanging out, was more fun and more rewarding then the toy. Course, that might just be me...he might have just been happy to get the most amazing thing ever. Still...a mom can dream.

Oh what was it that was cooler then all the toys Toys R us has to offer? Why a buzz lightyear umbrella of course!

Road Ranting

I can't do this while driving but boy do I have some rants about people and how just down right STUPID they are.

First set - the slows...seriously. You have to do TEN miles UNDER the speed limit and break every two seconds? Really? Why? For what?
If I am lost, and trying to find a street, or a house number I PULL THE HELL OVER AND LET PEOPLE PASS ME!!! Its COMMON courtesy  to other drivers. Something that is LACKING in this country! I HATE when people can't do the recommended speed limit. I am not talking over, or in bad conditions, I am talking about normal every day driving. If its says 45 damn it, do it.

Second - traffic lights. OMG! When did this become a need for a doctorate? Light is green...go! Light is red STOP. My FOUR year old knows this!? Why can't people who apparently passed a driving test follow it? I HATE when people run red lights, it drives me batty. Honestly! I hate when they try to sneak in on yellow light, knowing full well they are going to cause a gridlock! And Go for the love of God get off your phone and MOVE when the light changes! Instead of sitting there sipping your latte and reading the paper! You'll hear a lot less honking if you move when the light changes green.

This brings me to three though - pedestrians - yea you. Crossing against the light...STOP DOING IT! I saw it today, a family (three strollers a crap load of adults) light is green and they are crossing against it! Everyone with the green light had to wait for them to cross. And you do you think they hurried? Nope...took their sweet lazy ass time about it. SO RUDE! OBEY THE LAWS!





Fourth - The fluctuating speed. 45 30 50 25...PICK A SPEED AND STICK TO IT!

Fifth - The passing lane being used as a travel lane. OMG if you are going 45 on a 55 STAY OFF THE PASSING LANE! ITS FOR PEOPLE TO PASS YOUR SLOW ASS

Sixth - Don't use the breakdown lane as a passing lane...or for example at one of our lights. There are two lanes going left, one lane going straight, and one lane going right. This gem of a smarty decided to pass all of us who were waiting to go straight, and then cut out in front of us but nosing in. Really? Its people like this where I literally want to get out of my car and go at their taillights with a baseball bat. Seriously.

There would be a lot less traffic, and a lot less fender benders, and quite a few more peaceful people, if people would just follow the goddamn rules! We all (I hope) took a drivers ed course. We all (?) passed said driving course...why is this so hard? I just don't understand. I hate when two lanes merge into one causing a bottleneck. I'm with you. BUT if you know this is going to happen, be in the lane the stays. End. Of. Story. If you have to merge, wait your turn, if you are nice someone is bound to let you in. Don't be a dick.

Get. Off. Your. Phone. Whether you are texting/talking/emailing/twitting/whatever get. off. it. Its dangerous and stupid. For that matter stop trying apply your damn makeup or read the paper. Not smart. Stop doing it.

Read and obey the road signs. Its not like someone just stuck a deer crossing sign up to see if people would use caution. Oops I hit a deer should have paid attention to that sign back there. Sure the heck isn't for the deer!

Its frustrating to me to watch all this go on. For a few reasons. A) I have a child in my car. So I see any dumb driver as a potential threat tot my child's safety. B) I hate dumb people C) I like to get where I am going while I am still young and D) There are a lot of really expensive cars in my neighborhood, and quite frankly I don't want to be near any of them when one gets hit. Don't care if it was my car that did it or not. I just don't want to be around for that. So I get really angry when I see all this going on. I literally can sit a stop light through two or three rotations and just watch people do the dumbest shit. Its a wonder our traffic accidents aren't more in number. Seriously. Makes me believe in guardian angels, but even they can only do so much.

There are more things that just really get to me but its late, and I am tired and of course...not driving so alas...I am done for now. Seriously though when driving, think to yourself... Am I the driver that I want everyone else to be?

Land of the Free...ish

I went on a little bit of a rant with my good sister today...I feel like there is a little more purging to be done though.
The conversation started: Sister was watching one of those court shows, Judge Alan or something...a guy was suing his son and he was quoted telling his son, "I gave you a chance to change your lifestyle before I stopped speaking to you." His son is gay. Here is my rant.

We live in America, well I do. Its the land of the free, home of the brave and all that jazz. Men and woman have died to give us our freedom as we so patriotically shout out every Memorial Day and Fourth of July. They continue to fight for our freedoms. America's short history is written with the blood of these men and woman. So as a so called free country...why should it matter if some is gay or not? Hmm? Or if you are white/black? Catholic or Jewish? Hmm...Where is this written that its a free country...oh unless you are Hindu...not for you guys sorry. Its bull shit. Plain and simple. You can't have your free country and exclude people from it. Its just wrong. If you are an American citizen then in this country you should have freedoms. Freedom to marry whom we choose. Freedom to worship or not worship any deity of our choosing, free to be any color, free to be of any income status, or educational background. Free to be treated like free men and woman. The people of America deserve to live in the land that was fought for us to live in. Not in a country where freedom is for the select few. Where freedom is only a figure of speech.

I understand, everybody has an opinion. Your religion might tell you, homosexuality is bad. Who cares. Just because you accept it, doesn't mean you have to do it. I also understand that a lot of people won't agree with me. They think that by Joe and John getting married its going to ruin the whole country and our 'morals'. You know what I say? Look at the country.

Our debt...17 trillion and counting. Trillion. Think about that. Health care, is I am sorry, still a joke in this country. Unemployment is up 9.2 the highest its been for the longest since the 40's. Moral is down, crime is up. Housing market stinks...and they just announced that Boarders is closing. Sorry, but Joe and John getting married or Sally and Susan adopting a baby is the LEAST of our problems.

I love my country, don't get me wrong. With all its problems I love it. Why? Because I am free to write this blog. Because I am free to have as many babies as I want. Because I can work. Because I can dress the way that suits me. We just need to work on the rest of our so called freedoms. Legalize gay marriage.

For the love of everything everyone needs to calm down, and live and let live. Really. Just live. Be compassionate to those around you. Help who can help. Follow mama's advice, if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. Raise your children to be tolerant of all people. Raise children to be respectful and helpful. Remember that what we do, the consequences get left to our children, and their children. Your footsteps leave an everlasting mark, tread carefully as you walk through life, tread peacefully.

Easy answer - Don't Have Kids

I'll admit, I love reading the headlines and stories on Yahoo. Sometimes you find gems, a blogger who you start following cause they know how to deal with picky eaters. Or important information like who's who in Hollywood and what movies they are currently in.

Today I stumbled upon a very good one. A book coming out, entitled. Torn: The true stories of kids, Career and modern motherhood. A quote or two from this book.


"I wasn't feeling very empowered. I was feeling tricked and misled and angry. Why had I worked my ass off to start a career that I would only have to derail once I gave birth?"

..."Giving up the money (more than half our income) was hard. Giving up the label and prestige was harder…. Feeding her and getting her to sleep were victories. But where was the 'A' I was used to getting, and where was my bonus?"  

There are more like this. This is where I went off a bit. (Thankfully I have a very understanding husband who agrees with me).

Girls, if you want your big fancy career your super duper paycheck, designer clothing, etc. etc. and don't want that "spoiled" by having to have to 'gasp' be a mom, then don't. Seriously. Don't. The quote "tricked and misled and angry" by what? 

I got pregnant with out trying. I don't call it a mistake. I don't called it an oops. I call it gift. A wonderful miracle I didn't even know I needed. If you willingly think, career, husband okay time for kid and then say wait what? you mean I have to pick them up at daycare when they are sick? What's this a performance I have to attend, play dates, you mean they don't raise themselves? Then holy goodness DON'T have them! There are around 7billion people on this planet. That's right, over 7billion. I think the world can live with selfish people breeding. Fun fact, kids always know how you feel. Always.

If you can't put your career on the back burner, put yourself second, put your kids needs before you own, then you shouldn't have kids. Seriously wake up and think about that. That doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't. You can adopt, later in life, you can have children once you are settled in your career. Freeze your eggs so they are ready when you are. Whatever, there are so many options. You don't have to go and have kids because society says to. Don't have them if you can't handle them.

It bothers me beyond belief when people use their kids as an excuse. "shucks, I would have gotten my doctorate, *looks at child* but you know..." "Yeah I use to be a size 0 *looks at baby* but you know..."
Man up damn it. Its a kid, your kid. Stop treating them like they are a mistake, or an obstacle.

This week, for an example. My son has half days all week. Sucks to be me right? No, why? I get to spend time with my son. Because the only regret I have working is that it takes me away from him. I get through this knowing he is having FUN and learning while I am slaving away. I have maybe five minutes ten with bad traffic, to go from worker bee to mom. I do this because I want to. I do this because I love being a mom. And I never asked to be one. This wasn't a quote 'choice'. I have dirty laundry that piles up, dust in the corners, and there is a mystery meat in the freezer that I keep forgetting to throw out. I like it. Yes it stresses me out, yes I get frustrated, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't remember the last time I got a good night sleep (okay that one I would gladly have back), my figure will probably never be the same. But I have laugh lines and I like them. My tummy is the perfect pillow for a little head, and they make a wonderful beverage called coffee that I am in favor of.

I posted an article this week for men to man up and be dads. Well women, you have to man up and be a mom too. Just because you have the ability to have babies doesn't mean you are exempt for the rest of their life. And it doesn't mean you get to blame them for ruining your life.

Graduation Day

Cody graduated from Southampton Elementary Preschool today - June 17, 2011. It was a very bittersweet moment for this mommy. It was bittersweet for a lot of reasons.
Sweet, because this was huge, nine months of his life. I have watched him grow, learn, and change. When he started he couldn't write his name, now still with difficulty, but he can. Also he can:
*count all the way to hundred
*Sing countless songs
*Knows his alphabet
*can draw/paint and color much better then before
*Can "build" better then before
*plays with other children more (which is a huge improvement)
*He is getting really good a phonics and rhyming and can "read" really simple words. Which I find fantastic.
*He can get undressed and dressed all by himself. He only has issues with real buttons.
*He can hit a softball when you throw it. (Not just tee-ball style)
He is an amazing little boy with so much light. So much energy. Every day he does or says something that makes me laugh and makes me take a moment and say, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be the mother of  this precious amazing little person. I am so blessed.

This is a bitter moment too though. First and foremost that he will have another graduation next year. We still feel, with the impending move, and with his continuing delay, that it will be best for him to start Kindergarten at six. Still, when he was up there singing a song about going to Kindergarten I cried.

His "friends" whom I never really met for one reason or another but he will never see them again. I know, he is four, still. Its sad. He will never walk down those halls again (unless he chooses to do so when he is adult).

They were all up there, saying what they wanted to be when they grow up. I couldn't help but wonder, how many will see their dreams come true. Its depressing, I know, but for a moment that thought was there. All these innocent little faces. And for a moment I was sad that I won't see that same group up there for high school. It made me kind of mad all over again that we moved down here. My son should have had a home to grow up in and a school to go to his whole life. Like I did. I feel awful that we didn't give that to him. I am, of course, comforted to know that since we are doing preschool again, he will have the same group...still...It weighs on you as a parent. All the choices you make...even the little ones.

Anyway, enough of my exhausted pondering. It was a happy day. He did wonderfully, sang beautifully was so super adorable. He really is growing up and time is moving so fast. Before I know it, I will be writing about his high school graduation.

Harry Freaking Potter

Its Harry freaking Potter. The final movie is months away, so I thought I should write about the last 14 YEARS of my life.
Let me start with some facts.
Fact 1: J.K. Rowling is now a billionaire - 1.1 billion according to Forbes magazine.
Fact 2: She was unemployed when she finish her first book. So she went from unemployed to a billionaire in less then 10 years. Good for you.
Fact 3. The books have sold over 400 million world wide and have been translated in over 60 languages.

You can say what you want, but Harry Potter is winning. I don't know, but I am willing to bet just about everyone has either, read a book or watched at least one movie. Seriously. With a franchise that is worth billions, I mean he has his own THEME PARK! People come on, you all know who I speak of.

Movies are sold out before opening night. Midnight releases, sometimes even 1:00am and 3:00am showings. On multiple screens! You think I am kidding, ask a movie theater! Action figures, games, bedding, clothing, costumes, wands that light up when you say 'lumos' (if they don't have it they should), bags, website dedicated to harry potter, spin-off books, posters. furniture, food for goodness sake, glasses are cool now, thanks Harry! All of this, all of it because of one kid, Harry Freaking Potter. I remember standing in line at midnight waiting for the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh books.

The characters, she wove in seven books, characters that are unforgettable. Characters that you love like your own best friend and characters you hate and fear. Not just characters, creatures that you wish were real, (or glad they aren't!), a world that you wish you could slip into to be a wizard or even a muggle that is on good terms with them. Jobs that you wish you could have, places you wish you could shop, and yes, battles that you wish you could fight. A school that makes your high school seem, well lacking truth be told.

Harry Potter has spawned paradies and in a round about way made some people rich and famous as well.

For example, Starkid - They do a musical called A Very Potter Musical. Which is funny as hell by the way. It received such an amazing following that they did A Very Potter Sequel. In these stars Darren Criss (among other VERY talented people!! Which for the sake of being fair I will list at the end of this). Darren Criss, you might know, is now a full fledged member of Glee. Don't know Glee, then get out from under your rock, even I know about it. Now Darren Criss is amazing and deserves to be in the spot light, but with out Harry Potter there wouldn't be A Very Potter Musical and he might never have gotten noticed. Chew on that.

 

Potter puppet pals - a youtube sensation with over a 100 million hits! (that was just on one they have many!) 

All of this, all of it because one woman dreamed a world unlike any other. And as (not to be too dramatic), an era comes to and end, I find that I ask myself. What's next? There have been great books before and since, there will be great books again. The scope of this book may not be matched for quiet sometime, and probably not in my life time. So what next? I always hate to finish a good book, but in this way I have finished a great series. Now, a great movie series is coming to an end. There will be tears, (read the seventh book you'll know why), there will be laughter. I am happy for the actors, Danial Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint for growing up on stage and being part of a huge phenomenon and doing it with grace and still being people that you can look up to. I am glad Emma will be able to finish college now, and that Dan and Rupert will be able to pursue other acting venues. There are rumors of Rowling making more books, I have mixed feelings. If she were to do another series, different from Potter, I would be happy, but to continue, pre-date Harry, I don't know. 

The end of a era, for some people Harry Potter has been their life. Kids that are fifteen, sixteen early twenties even, have been reading and watching movies since childhood. For others, like me, we plan on keeping Harry alive by reading them to our kids. So now we say see you later to Harry Potter. Its not goodbye, not really, for he will always have a place in our hearts, and thankfully we can revisit Hogwarts often, by simply picking up our dear friend and reading again.

Stars of a Very Potter Musical -  Darren Criss, Joey Richter, Bonnie Gruesen, Jaime-Lynn Beatty, Lauren Lopez, Joe Walker. 
Starkid - There is is the website - enjoy their productions 

And I leave you with one last image... Sorcerer's Stone - Now... My how they have grown. 

 
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