Easy answer - Don't Have Kids

I'll admit, I love reading the headlines and stories on Yahoo. Sometimes you find gems, a blogger who you start following cause they know how to deal with picky eaters. Or important information like who's who in Hollywood and what movies they are currently in.

Today I stumbled upon a very good one. A book coming out, entitled. Torn: The true stories of kids, Career and modern motherhood. A quote or two from this book.


"I wasn't feeling very empowered. I was feeling tricked and misled and angry. Why had I worked my ass off to start a career that I would only have to derail once I gave birth?"

..."Giving up the money (more than half our income) was hard. Giving up the label and prestige was harder…. Feeding her and getting her to sleep were victories. But where was the 'A' I was used to getting, and where was my bonus?"  

There are more like this. This is where I went off a bit. (Thankfully I have a very understanding husband who agrees with me).

Girls, if you want your big fancy career your super duper paycheck, designer clothing, etc. etc. and don't want that "spoiled" by having to have to 'gasp' be a mom, then don't. Seriously. Don't. The quote "tricked and misled and angry" by what? 

I got pregnant with out trying. I don't call it a mistake. I don't called it an oops. I call it gift. A wonderful miracle I didn't even know I needed. If you willingly think, career, husband okay time for kid and then say wait what? you mean I have to pick them up at daycare when they are sick? What's this a performance I have to attend, play dates, you mean they don't raise themselves? Then holy goodness DON'T have them! There are around 7billion people on this planet. That's right, over 7billion. I think the world can live with selfish people breeding. Fun fact, kids always know how you feel. Always.

If you can't put your career on the back burner, put yourself second, put your kids needs before you own, then you shouldn't have kids. Seriously wake up and think about that. That doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't. You can adopt, later in life, you can have children once you are settled in your career. Freeze your eggs so they are ready when you are. Whatever, there are so many options. You don't have to go and have kids because society says to. Don't have them if you can't handle them.

It bothers me beyond belief when people use their kids as an excuse. "shucks, I would have gotten my doctorate, *looks at child* but you know..." "Yeah I use to be a size 0 *looks at baby* but you know..."
Man up damn it. Its a kid, your kid. Stop treating them like they are a mistake, or an obstacle.

This week, for an example. My son has half days all week. Sucks to be me right? No, why? I get to spend time with my son. Because the only regret I have working is that it takes me away from him. I get through this knowing he is having FUN and learning while I am slaving away. I have maybe five minutes ten with bad traffic, to go from worker bee to mom. I do this because I want to. I do this because I love being a mom. And I never asked to be one. This wasn't a quote 'choice'. I have dirty laundry that piles up, dust in the corners, and there is a mystery meat in the freezer that I keep forgetting to throw out. I like it. Yes it stresses me out, yes I get frustrated, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't remember the last time I got a good night sleep (okay that one I would gladly have back), my figure will probably never be the same. But I have laugh lines and I like them. My tummy is the perfect pillow for a little head, and they make a wonderful beverage called coffee that I am in favor of.

I posted an article this week for men to man up and be dads. Well women, you have to man up and be a mom too. Just because you have the ability to have babies doesn't mean you are exempt for the rest of their life. And it doesn't mean you get to blame them for ruining your life.

Graduation Day

Cody graduated from Southampton Elementary Preschool today - June 17, 2011. It was a very bittersweet moment for this mommy. It was bittersweet for a lot of reasons.
Sweet, because this was huge, nine months of his life. I have watched him grow, learn, and change. When he started he couldn't write his name, now still with difficulty, but he can. Also he can:
*count all the way to hundred
*Sing countless songs
*Knows his alphabet
*can draw/paint and color much better then before
*Can "build" better then before
*plays with other children more (which is a huge improvement)
*He is getting really good a phonics and rhyming and can "read" really simple words. Which I find fantastic.
*He can get undressed and dressed all by himself. He only has issues with real buttons.
*He can hit a softball when you throw it. (Not just tee-ball style)
He is an amazing little boy with so much light. So much energy. Every day he does or says something that makes me laugh and makes me take a moment and say, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be the mother of  this precious amazing little person. I am so blessed.

This is a bitter moment too though. First and foremost that he will have another graduation next year. We still feel, with the impending move, and with his continuing delay, that it will be best for him to start Kindergarten at six. Still, when he was up there singing a song about going to Kindergarten I cried.

His "friends" whom I never really met for one reason or another but he will never see them again. I know, he is four, still. Its sad. He will never walk down those halls again (unless he chooses to do so when he is adult).

They were all up there, saying what they wanted to be when they grow up. I couldn't help but wonder, how many will see their dreams come true. Its depressing, I know, but for a moment that thought was there. All these innocent little faces. And for a moment I was sad that I won't see that same group up there for high school. It made me kind of mad all over again that we moved down here. My son should have had a home to grow up in and a school to go to his whole life. Like I did. I feel awful that we didn't give that to him. I am, of course, comforted to know that since we are doing preschool again, he will have the same group...still...It weighs on you as a parent. All the choices you make...even the little ones.

Anyway, enough of my exhausted pondering. It was a happy day. He did wonderfully, sang beautifully was so super adorable. He really is growing up and time is moving so fast. Before I know it, I will be writing about his high school graduation.